Medicine bottles

Once I went to the  Doctor.  He told  me that I had a ‘serious condition’.  It would require months of treatment.

He would begin with Penicillin.

So I went to the Chemist with the prescription.

Two days later, I was fine.


That is the thing,..I respond to medical treatment quickly.


It is not like that for my mental health.

I have tried so many things, and I never seem to feel any better.

I bought books.

They had testimonies on the back:

‘I was depressed for years, then I read this book!  This book is the answer!’


So I bought the book.

I tried Bach remedies, meditation, and even Psychiatry.

Nothing changed.

I no longer receive help from the Services because they realised that I do not respond.


I know people who have had terrible life experiences, and they are fine.  They made a full recovery.

They experienced terrible things, far worse than myself, and I struggle every day.

I look at them, and I wonder how they did it.


People say: ‘Have you tried..?’

And I am tempted to say “Yes!” before they finish the sentence, because I have probably already tried it.


I am starting to realise that I will deal with these issues for all of my life, when I really want a cure.

I am trying to find the courage to deal with a condition which may be with me until I am an old lady, that I may feel this way every day.


I wanted a cure so badly, the wizard’s wand, the magic spell.



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