Is regret part of Recovery?
I believe that it may be, though I can only speak from personal experience.
Regret likes to attack me at 4 o’clock in the morning, or 6 am.
Or when I am washing the dishes.
It sweeps my feet from under me, like a current at the turn of the tide.
Why do I feel regret?
Well, for one thing I regret going into a Hospital
I do not regret asking for help, but I wish I had managed to stay at home, and get by on weekly appointments.
I regret getting depressed in the first place, and causing my family to worry.
I regret trusting the wrong people, thinking that a Doctor could help when really I was talking to the wrong person.
I regret telling my friends I had been in a Hospital.
They told everyone else.
I regret thinking that if I fell in love, the romance would help me out of the darkness, the lack of self-worth. The truth is, no man ever cured a girl,..we have to do this for ourselves.
That was my first experience of girl power.
So now, we have made it to 6.30 am.
At this point, I make a cup of tea.
Over the years, I have learned to distract myself, because regret can ruin a sunny day.
I have to move on.
I have to try for a future, and looking back is not going to help.