Is psychiatric illness a departure from Reality?
I think that it may be.
I understand that my parents marriage was unhappy.
We all laugh about it now, as adults.
They both woke up the next morning and realised that they had made a mistake.
They had a big white wedding, so it would be embarrassing to go home and get a divorce.
They bickered constantly on the honeymoon.
There is comedy there now. My Dad scattered all his own belongings over the living room. My Mum wanted to go to her sister and tell her she had made a mistake, but her sister was convinced she was in love.
My Mum tells this story, and rolls her eyes,..’In love?’
I was the first baby, and they invested a lot in me, hoping that a new baby would help matters. I was supposed to be cute, and a joy in the home.
But I was just hard work, and would not sleep.
So they both sat up all night with me.
As a teenager, I could not handle the arguments. I would hear them shouting at one another in the kitchen.
I understand now that I retreated from reality, first into books, but then into my own World.
I wanted to believe in romance, falling in love, but the example before me was very different.
Later, I read psychology books which said that children become insecure when there is an argument. Their parents’ marriage is their security.
They fear divorce, a break-up of the family home.
I can understand now why I became depressed. I was afraid my parents would divorce, or my Mum would leave and go to live with her sister.
In my depression, I was hiding, refusing to come out until my parents were different, or their lives were different, or they could provide more security.
Now they are good companions. We all developed a sense of humour. My parents marriage was not perfect, but it is an endless source of amusement.
They learned to laugh at the eccentricities of the other. I think laughter may saved the situation.