Ever after

Is psychiatric illness a departure from Reality?

I think that it may be.

I understand that my parents marriage was unhappy.

We all laugh about it now, as adults.

They both woke up the next morning and realised that they had made a mistake.

§

They had  a big white wedding, so it would be embarrassing to go home and get a divorce.

They bickered constantly on the honeymoon.

§

There is comedy there now.  My Dad scattered all his own belongings over the living room. My Mum wanted to go to her sister and tell her she had made a mistake, but her sister was convinced she was in love.

My Mum tells this story, and rolls her eyes,..’In love?’

§

I was the first baby, and they invested a lot in me, hoping that a new baby would help matters.  I was supposed to be cute, and a joy in the home.

But I was just hard work, and would not sleep.

So they both sat up all night with me.

§

As a teenager, I could not handle the arguments.  I would hear them shouting at one another in the kitchen.

§

I understand now that I retreated from reality, first into books, but then into my own World.

I wanted to believe in romance, falling in love, but the example before me was very different.

§

Later, I read psychology books which said that children become insecure when there is an argument.  Their parents’ marriage is their security.

They fear divorce, a break-up of the family home.

§

I can understand now why I became depressed.  I was afraid my parents would divorce, or my Mum would leave and go to live with her sister.

§§

In my depression, I was hiding, refusing to come out until my parents were different, or their lives were different, or they could provide more security.

Now they are good companions.  We all developed a sense of humour.  My parents marriage was not perfect, but it is an endless source of amusement.

They learned to laugh at the eccentricities of the other.  I think laughter may saved the situation.

§§

leaf

 

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