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This is a metaphor that I use for Recovery.
A prisoner is in his cell, but he can see a beautiful garden.
On a hot day, he can see the shimmer above the flowers, the bees drunk with nectar.
He wants so badly to enter the garden, but he is a prisoner.
If he is good, obeys all the rules, then he wins a hour in the garden.
This is good, and he appreciates it, but he is sad because he must return to his cell.
In a way, the hour can become a torment to him.
He now knows how it feels to sit in the sun. He will dread the cell even more.
If he stays in the cell, then he might acclimatise to it.
Leaving and going into the garden creates more grief when he must return.
When I have a good day, or go into the garden, it can make the return to depression more difficult.
I glimpse a day without negativity. I glimpse how life must be for other people who do not have mental illness.
Sometimes I find a good day difficult, as I grieve when it comes to an end.