When I first went into Recovery I expected a lot of people to come with me.
I was trying to get better, so it was logical to expect that my decision would be popular.
I did not want to remain ill, so of course people would be glad to support me.
Then I ran into problems.
I did not realise it, but people had invested in my illness.
They found it a source of amusement and drama.
It gave them a chance to gossip.
They had no interest in my recovery, but did wish to sabotage it, to keep me as the girl with mental illness.
When I approached Therapists, they backed away. They pointed to the severity of my Depression and queried my attempt to go in the opposite direction.
They declared recovery was not possible. I was only wasting my own time, and possibly theirs, so they refused to offer any support.
I did manage to find a Charity who heard my story, and were willing to support me.
My family did support me, but they wanted results.
They are dismayed at the slowness of my recovery, and so I have walked large parts of the road alone.
Friends all left, even those who had remained during my Depression.
But again, they were dismayed at how slow this recovery was.
One friend told me she wanted to shake me, then she never called me again.
Along the way, I have wished for more support. But I begin to see that Recovery is a road we travel alone for the most part.
It is slow, all-consuming, and we may also endure a relapse.
Time and again, people have walked away.
But I kept to this road, because I want to get better.