I made an impressive clinical recovery, considering the severity of my Depression.
I had the type of Depression that people would describe as ‘very deep’.
I would describe it as resistant to treatment, resistant to medication, and long-lasting.
But I did make a good recovery. This was a surprise to me, as I had told myself I would never get better.
I have managed to stay out of Hospital, away from psychiatric treatment, and off all medication.
However, the story becomes rocky after that. I did not make a social recovery.
I still have many difficulties when I leave the house.
I struggle to speak to people, to create relationships, to be understood.
I face high levels of stigma.
I have no friends, and do not socialise.
I also struggle with PTSD, grief and the other after-effects of Depression.
Depression did leave baggage behind, which I must deal with.
So on a daily basis, I will face hostility when I leave the house. I struggle with PTSD from the moment I wake up.
I grieve throughout the day for the losses I have incurred throughout this struggle with mental illness.
At the end of the day, I am utterly exhausted, and I dread the night anyway because of nightmares.
I know I need to be grateful for what I have achieved.
I do not mean to complain.
But there are issues remaining that I need to find the courage to face.