I had to fight for support, but when I got it there were problems.
I would only receive one appointment in 6 weeks.
I felt under pressure to say that things were going well.
Episodes of depression are frowned upon, and I learned to hide episodes of anxiety.
I had to sanitise my illness, pretend things were not so bad.
But if things were so easy, we would not require support.
I had to demonstrate progress, say things were fine at work.
I had to join new courses, and report success every time.
There was emphasis on feeling fine, progress, success.
But if those things were really happening, I would not have needed support.
They would write on my file that I was coping.
In the end, Community Care all seemed a bit pointless. In some ways, I was glad when it came to an end. I never received the care that I hoped for, and I rarely had a real conversation about my Depression.