So much happened to me before I reached twenty, that I have suffered from PTSD all of my adult life.
In the beginning, I tried to heal the past, but I made no progress.
I often muse that if my childhood and teenage years had been even slightly easier, then I would be in a better place now.
The past had a direct impact on me as an adult.
I live with PTSD every day.
Today is a sunny day, and I am glad.
But I know that I will suffer internally throughout, even if I enjoy the weather.
PTSD had affected me in so many ways. I feel that I could not fully develop myself as an adult, due to the impact of PTSD.
It is time-consuming, and takes a lot of effort to keep it at bay.
I am susceptible to triggers, and I can spin off and have a bad hour.
It is accompanied by grief, which is also time-consuming and takes resources from me.
I spend a lot of time alone, simply to try to manage these symptoms.
I have many regrets about my formative years, and wish I had protected myself.
There is a lot of self-blame, which exhausts me. I try to break free, as I need to function.
I also do not want to have to go into Hospital again.
I doubt if they could help.
PTSD is better treated at home, rather than in a hospital where there would be triggers.
It is better for me to stay near to my book collection, movies and garden.