PTSD

So much happened to me before I reached twenty, that I have suffered from PTSD all of my adult life.

In the beginning, I tried to heal the past, but I made no progress.

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I often muse that if my childhood and teenage years had been even slightly easier, then I would be in a better place now.

The past had a direct impact on me as an adult.

I live with PTSD every day.

Today is a sunny day, and I am glad.

But I know that I will suffer internally throughout, even if I enjoy the weather.

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pretty

PTSD had affected me in so many ways.  I feel that I could not fully develop myself as an adult, due to the impact of PTSD.

It is time-consuming, and takes a lot of effort to keep it  at bay.

I am susceptible to triggers, and I can spin off and have a bad hour.

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It is accompanied by grief, which is also time-consuming and takes resources from me.

I spend  a lot of time alone, simply to try to manage these symptoms.

I have many regrets about my formative years, and wish I had protected myself.

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There is a lot of self-blame, which exhausts me.  I try to break free, as I need to function.

I also do not want to have to go into Hospital again.

I doubt if they could help.

PTSD is better treated at home, rather than in a hospital where there would be triggers.

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It is better for me to stay near to my book collection, movies and garden.

phone

 

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