I am no longer ill, but I am not really well either.
What am I? It is so hard to define. I do not have a word for what I am.
I feel as though my life is a Tug of War. I am caught between two scenarios.
Some days, I feel very low, and will relive my illness. Other days, I feel that I would like to strike out, and get well. I would like to explore the World and my abilities. I tell myself I need to try to get better.
I go between the two, trying to find middle ground, and security.
It can be confusing, and also exhausting.
On the days I feel down, I am exhausted. On the days I feel well, I feel restless.
My family struggle to understand the ‘up and down’ aspect of my life. They do not understand how I can feel well one day, and down the next.
It is hard for me as well, as this is a difficult way to live.
When I recovered from Depression, I went to this place. I became stranded in this ‘inbetween’ place, and I have been there ever since.