Q. Why is it so difficult to come from a dysfunctional family?
We need a safe place.
Also, it can be disappointing to know that we can be hurt by the people who are supposed to love us.
The levels of stress and exhaustion can be very high.
There can be care needs in a family which has problems.
Q. Is there anything you can do?
I did hear of a programme in America. Families invited children to Sunday dinner. The children saw a real family sit and eat together.
The organisers claimed that these children grew up wanting to have a family life, and were less likely to sabotage their future by getting involved in crime.
This study impressed me, and I wondered how can we help people who come from dysfunctional backgrounds in small ways.
I learned domestic skills, as I felt that if I could cook and clean, then the house would be welcoming, and feel more homely.
I feel that this did make a difference. I take care of the family home. I used to sit and feel depressed, or read books. But now I look after the house, and try to keep it clean and bright.
Q. Do people recreate dysfunction?
Yes, I believe that this happened in my own family. People recreate what they know, even if it is not beneficial. They need to learn new patterns of behaviour.
I have to hope it is possible, but it is a challenge.