If I had a choice over Fame, Money and good memories, I would choose pleasant memories.
PTSD means that I long for good memories.
This is what I think about all day.
I enter my past, and I think,..‘If I had done this, or avoided that, then I would have good memories.’
Having bad memories can make me fear being alone, lying awake.
PTSD is with me every day.
It is different from Depression. I remember Depression as lethargy, but PTSD makes me want to keep moving.
PTSD can make me restless. If I keep moving, then I might out run the bad memories.
PTSD is allied to grief. I experience both during each day. They are related to one another.
With grief I tend to mull over lost opportunities, and I will stay in the past.
Grief also motivates me to keep moving, to avoid rumination.
Both PTSD and grief can lead to distress.
I have cried a lot at certain times.
This is different from Depression, because I remember an inability to connect with my emotions or cry.
I saw tears as a sign that I was getting better.
PTSD can lead me to collecting stuff. I use these things to distract myself.
This has lead to clutter.
I do not have much space left, but I need the books and DVDs to help me to distract my mind.
I learned to distract myself, as that is the best way to manage PTSD.
Q. Why do you have PTSD?
I have PTSD because I could not protect myself during the years that I was mentally ill, and this lead to traumatic things happening.