I had a dream, and in the dream one of my teachers came and told me that she was disappointed in me.


I woke up, and when I did I remembered that I had not got an A in that subject.


Then I sat up and felt really down.

I have dreams like this a lot.


Depression caused me difficulties, and my Education has been interrupted so many times.

But I know that some people are disappointed, and puzzled as to why I have not achieved more than I have.


They do not only scold me in dreams.  One of my friends left me because she felt I was under-achieving, and she told me she wanted to give me a ‘shake’.

This is true, and really hurts when people talk that way.


I do not want to discuss my mental health with everyone, and I want to keep it private.  My friend was unaware that I had any health issues. But it has lead to a few quizzical looks.


I wish that my Education had remained untouched by illness, that I could have boxed that part of my life off.  That no matter how unwell I was, my Education had been unaffected.

It would mean a a lot to me, as then I could have felt some sense of achievement.


Mint & Gold 10




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