I had a dream, and in the dream one of my teachers came and told me that she was disappointed in me.
I woke up, and when I did I remembered that I had not got an A in that subject.
Then I sat up and felt really down.
I have dreams like this a lot.
Depression caused me difficulties, and my Education has been interrupted so many times.
But I know that some people are disappointed, and puzzled as to why I have not achieved more than I have.
They do not only scold me in dreams. One of my friends left me because she felt I was under-achieving, and she told me she wanted to give me a ‘shake’.
This is true, and really hurts when people talk that way.
I do not want to discuss my mental health with everyone, and I want to keep it private. My friend was unaware that I had any health issues. But it has lead to a few quizzical looks.
I wish that my Education had remained untouched by illness, that I could have boxed that part of my life off. That no matter how unwell I was, my Education had been unaffected.
It would mean a a lot to me, as then I could have felt some sense of achievement.