What is the difference?

What is the difference between a ‘normal’ family, and a dysfunctional one?

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So many people would say that all families are dysfunctional.

But that is not true.  Not all are perfect, but they could not lay claim to being dysfunctional.

Being part of a dysfunctional family is something that you cannot explain or measure, you simply know it.

Deep down inside, you begin to observe how different life is at home.

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There are markers.  Alcoholism is one.

The other is coming home to a cold, empty house, no dinner on the table.

Another is the lack of routine.

This loss in routine spreads to Anniversaries or days of note.

Birthdays become an afterthought.  They are forgotten, pass unmarked.

You do not plan for Christmas because it may not happen, or it may lead to contact with relatives who drink.

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But really it comes down to a feeling in your stomach.

You just know.  There is no empirical data.

You cannot prove it to a Therapist, or friend.

“My parents argued too!  And my Uncle drank!’

Yes, and I am sorry, but the truth is you are not part of this tribe.

I am, and I recognise others who are.

helen

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