This is a post which asks,..what does it really mean to be celibate?
Sometimes I think that we can have a time of celibacy, as we have been hurt and we need a time of healing.
This is a period of time, we know why we have made this choice and we know it will come to an end.
Celibacy could be a way of dealing with disappointment. We thought we would meet someone, fall in love. This did not happen, and the disappointment is so intense that we need to take time out.
We do not only want to date just anyone.
In my case, celibacy came about because I had an illness. I struggled to take care of myself, and I did not think that I could manage to take care of someone else.
Partly, this just happened. But partly there was a conscious decision.
I needed to plan my life around this illness, and I did not feel I could manage the stress of married life on top of an illness.
Of course sometimes I wish that I was with someone, and that they thought I was the most special person in their life. That is natural. Everyone has that dream of falling in love. We can’t just switch it off.
If something good happens, I wish I could share that special moment with someone, but I cannot.
All of this is natural, and those feelings come. I am still a romantic person. I love romantic movies, but my life plan did not work out that way.
God and celibacy,..I think that God does call people to be celibate, as He wants to be close to that person. This happened with St. Francis of Assisi, St. Teresa of Avila, and Jesus himself.
For some who are close to God, celibacy is part of their path.
They are turned towards God, they will blossom into sainthood, and for that reason they will not settle down to marriage and an ordinary life.
I know that God has touched me in my own life, and I sometimes wonder if He could have done that if I had been married with children. The very bustle of life would have made it harder for Him to reach me.
Being celibate has not made me unhappy.
I understand that this is part of my journey.
Loving and being loved is wonderful, but I know I cannot demand such love.
I am grateful to be surrounded by the beauty of Nature, and I find solace in so many ways.