I have wanted for a long time to push myself,
as I feel sad that I have not achieved more than I have.
So I enrolled in a course of study.
We arranged for a Tutor to come each week, and we pay him for an hour.
This way, I can study alone, but he keeps me on the right track.
At first, I was glad to be back at study, as it means a lot to me.
Of course I was nervous, but I am anxious to push myself.
However, a difficulty has arisen, one which I did not foresee.
The Tutor sometimes gets angry with me.
This week we had a tough lesson.
He became so frustrated,..
Why did you do that?
Don’t do that again!
Look at the question.
Ask yourself, why you write that answer?
You can’t do that in the Exam.
He had barely a good word to say to me.
He got so frustrated.
I felt so sad after the lesson.
I just sat upstairs, and stared out of the window.
We have a lesson next week, but I am dreading it.
The truth is, I have spent a lot of time alone.
I have studied alone.
So I have picked up bad habits.
I interpret literature in a certain way.
I understand that this would frustrate a teacher.
I do not want to tell him I have Depression.
The reason is..Stigma.
I told teachers in the past, and it always backfired.
They told other teachers, other students.
They did not support me.
I want to avoid that this time.
I can cease to have these lessons, and go back to teaching myself.
I have done that before.
But I did hope this time that I could have a Tutor.
We saved the money for the course, and the lessons.
I was so excited at the beginning.