I resented some things when I was young.
I resented that I had to spend time in a Mental Hospital.
I resented that I was ostracised,
and that I never received invitations.
Then I decided to let all this go.
I accepted that my young years would be different,
and not how I wished.
I became more relaxed about these issues.
Every so often,
a wish to join in would rise up,
and I would wrestle with all the old feelings.
But I always battled this down.
My youth was clearly different,
and not how I would wish it to be.
But there was no point making myself miserable.
When I look back,
what did I really want?
The answer is.. a garden.
In the end I got the garden that I wished for.
I saw Daffodils appear in Spring,
I counted blooms in Summer.
I sat under the trees and read books.
I drank tea, and watched the sun set, the moon appear.
There is a difference between getting all we want,
and just one thing.
I was given a garden.
I did not have a circle of friends,
but did I really need that?
So many beautiful moments happened in the garden.
Moments that I might have missed if I had been surrounded by friends.
I remember the moon hanging so low I could almost reach out and touch it.
I remember spending October nights in short sleeves,..it was so warm.
I remember late suppers that I cooked and carried outside to the picnic table.
I remember reading by the light of a lantern.
I should be grateful for those days and nights.